My name is Noah and I'd like to welcome you. Now, I hope you're sitting, and if you're not you might consider it as I'd like to share a short tale with you...
One day, many years ago, I climbed to the top of a mountain to speak with the wise woman who sat at the summit. When I reached her she was in serenity enjoying the spectacular view. After countless moments passed, she smiled. Without opening her eyes she whispered in a barely audible tone, "Ask a single question," but I couldn't hear her over the cry of a mighty eagle.
Unperturbed at missing her utterance, I said, "I'm sorry, could you repeat yourself?"
She took a long breath and repeated slightly louder than before, "Ask a single question."
I thought for long moments and what answer I saught more than any other. The meaning of life... next week's lottery tickets... what is the combination to my gym locker... paper or plastic... finally, I decided and asked, "What is my purpose?"
She smiled, patted my head, then faintly whispered, "That's two."
As I didn't find my purpose atop a summit, please help me find it on the 8th floor of the Visalia Marriott. If I can raise $1000, I'll go Over the Edge, stare into the face of death as if spitting into the wind. I'll laugh maniacally as my sub-human powers kick in, I curse under my breath, perhaps pee myself a little, attempt to bargain with the climbing instructor to let me flee, then attempt to hold a brave facade as I silently weep to myself from my terror and freight of heights. Finally, I'll rappel down to sweet, sweet Earth having found absolution and meaning.
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